I'd rather have a shitty girlfriend than a shitty car
If my girlfriend starts to get on my nerves I could travel really far
I'd rather have a shitty meal than a shitty resume
'Cause a totally awesome resume will feed me steak one day
I'd rather have a shitty body than a shitty voice
On my body I could wear some clothes, on my voice I have no choice

Feed me peas and feed me corn and feed me wild oats
Let's move to the hills together and raise some chicken and goats
I don't need tofu if I've got you to help me forget those buggers, oh
We'll forget our differences and live like a couple tree huggers

The earth is so polluted I could never walk barefoot, ouch
On Earth day I was going to plant some trees, but I planted my ass on the couch
I try to eat what's good for me, but I like Captain Crunch
And an extra large Snickers bar with a glass of Hawaiian Punch
I was going to join an ad hoc committee, but I don't know what ad hoc means
I think it's a special kind of rock for stone washed denim jeans

Feed me peas and feed me corn and feed me wild oats
Let's move to the hills together and raise some chicken and goats
I don't need tofu if I've got you to help me forget those buggers, oh
We'll forget our differences and live like a couple tree huggers

I went to a special school for kids whose parents were Catholic
On hot dog day we could wear what we wanted, I always ate four and got sick
Once I kissed a girl behind the convent and I got really flustered
I'll never forget the way she smelled, she tasted just like mustard
Now every time I go to the market and I reach the mustard row
I have to hurry up and leave or my crotch begins to grow

Feed me peas and feed me corn and feed me wild oats
Let's move to the hills together and raise some chicken and goats
I don't need tofu if I've got you to help me forget those buggers, oh
We'll forget our differences and live like a couple tree huggers

As a child I was pretty sick, I could make my arm come out of it's socket
I used to like a Girl Scout once she put her hand inside of my pocket
I used to go to church a lot, I was an altar boy
Got to ring the bells at Communion time, it gave me special joy
Don't know what I believe in now, I'm filled with foggy guilt
I'm too scared not to believe in God, I never touch myself under my quilt

Feed me peas and feed me corn and feed me wild oats
Let's move to the hills together and raise some chicken and goats
I don't need tofu if I've got you to help me forget those buggers, oh
Every day'll be hot dog day and we'll live like a couple tree huggers